*Guest post was written by By Arbed
Four effective ways on how to turn down an invitation
We are all currently being plagued with a severe case of FOMO, fear of missing out. With everything we could possibly need built into life-changing apps on our smartphones, the access to unlimited people, places and things have us spoiled beyond our parent’s wildest dreams. On all social platforms, especially Instagram we are constantly bombarded with images of friends and influencers on vacation and at cool brunch spots.
We’re literally scrolling through live commercials. This only adds on the pressure to “keep up” and we are not the only ones being consumed with this, our friends are as well. Hence all the incoming invitations to birthday brunches at the newest trendy spot, out of town girl trips, weddings, and countless other concerts and festivals. Though these may sound like fun, we need to learn how to exercise some restraint. If not, we’ll burn a hole in our pockets faster than you can say “Bottomless Mimosas please!” We all struggle with turning down a good time, but I’ve made it easy with these four effective scripts even for the biggest party animal.
Now, this may sound simple, but let’s keep it real we always lie to get out of plans with friends whether it’s that subconsciously that we think our friends won’t understand or we don’t want to sound “lame”. Lay your cards out on the table and say I can’t attend your event because I’m working on my credit, saving up or cutting back from going out. We’re all adults, your friends will understand and if they don’t you should really reconsider your inner circle. No shade.
Example: “Hey girl, thanks for inviting me on this trip, you know usually I’m always down for a good time, but this year I’ve really been focused on aiming at reaching my money goals, I’m working on paying off my debt and putting money towards my investments, so I won’t be able to attend hope you understand and that yall have a great time. When my song comes on, bust a twerk in my honor lol” okay soooo the last line is optional, but you get the point.
This script is for those of you trying to bail out of more important events that may be giving you a huge guilt trip. We all have some friends that just don’t understand no matter what the situation is. For those friends, we must add fluff. Remember we’re adding fluff not a full pillow of lies. Nine times out of ten, the people we are blowing off know us pretty-well so we can’t slap on some outrageous story. We’re secretly wishing that they will cut us off in the middle of our script because it’s all already sounding too much. Fingers crossed.
Booked and Busy
It’s perfectly ok to be transparent about your schedule conflicts. We’re all grown. We all have things to do. Be sure to come off gracious rather than petty when explaining that you will not be attending said event. Keep in mind although being booked and busy is seen as a good thing, try not to remember not to make your other plans sound more important than the event you decided not to attend other than necessary.
Self-care has become way more than just a hashtag. More and more women have been participating in the actual practice. Wellness, in general, is being taken more seriously in our community. Anxiety is a real thing. Sometimes we take on way too much that just receiving a simple invitation to an event can have us spiral emotionally. Maybe it’s that time of the month pry o simply don’t want to be around people. It’s all ok sis. Don’t let societal “norms” have you thinking you can do it all, because you can’t; we can’t. Always start with gratitude for the invite and simply note that your self-care.
And there you have it folks, four ways to nicely turn down an invitation from friends and family. We literally can’t be everywhere and doing everything and if people are truly our friends they will understand.