Could Dealing With F boys be Hurting Your Self Esteem In Your Career?
Co-Written By Arbed, & Candice Latham
Trust, we’ve all been there. Gave a little too much time, energy and effort to a person that later turned out not to be worth it. Normally it reveals itself to be somewhat blindsided. I mean why would we willingly sign up for the heartbreak and pain. Luckily, the internet gifted us a term perfectly suited for this specific individual. Lè f boy.
What Is A F boy?
What are the notable signs of dealing with an actual f boy? He has a burning desire to keep things “casual”? Does he suffer from toxic masculinity? Does he happen to only send texts after 9 p.m. but never initiates an actual date and if he does you’re usually the one left footing the bill? Is he constantly flaking and using excuses like “my bad, my phone died”? When you call him does he ignore your call and send you a text back? I hate to break it to you, but you’re dealing with a f boy. Now don’t worry, try not to be so hard on yourself, this happens to the best of us. The true issue is when you allow them to affect your energy and space. This negativity eventually spills over into other areas of your life and affects your self-esteem. Ultimately hurting your business and financial standing.
The first obvious reason why dealing with f boys is hurting your self-esteem in your career is quite simple. It is depleting your energy. Focusing on the key elements that will help grow and stimulate your business is now being overshadowed by what you are currently going through emotionally. So now instead of thoughts about your business, your brain is filled with thoughts like “How come he didn’t respond yet?”
This energy shift not only depletes your energy but also your time. Allowing for a potentially harmful distraction as it pertains to your career path. Many times while we are flourishing business-wise, our love lives are just nonexistent. Although this may be hard to comprehend, it’s primarily due to the shift in focus. Do not allow yourself to be drained with people who are constantly wasting your time. Refocus that energy back into the important things that actually matter to you and you will soon attract a partner who is worthy.
As women, we love to parade around on our independent, self-sufficient high horse. How can a strong independent woman let a man affect their self-confidence when they are so career oriented, you ask? Well, we all would like to think that we make good decisions in all aspects of our life. And truth be told balance is a necessity. When fully committed to your career, you must cancel out any non-beneficial distractions. A major distraction being, men that aren’t worthy. You don’t have to deal with men who don’t truly value you.
The goal is to find a guy that genuinely cares about you, communicates, supports you and compliments you on all levels. A man who doesn’t leave you left wondering where is this going because chances are if you have to ask it’s not going very far, sweetheart.
You don’t have to agree to sign up for a no-strings-attached situationship if that’s not what you truly want. Wait for the guy that you deserve. By settling in your love life, it could potentially leave you settling in other areas of your life as well such as your career.
Double standards play a key role in why dealing with men who are less than end up negatively impacting your self-esteem as it pertains to your business. There is no systematic pressure for men to get married. In fact, it is actually encouraged for men to focus solely on their business aspirations. They are told that when they do so, women will then see them as being more attractive. Henceforth they are making less of an effort in looking for companionship maintaining relationships. Though every rule has an exception or loophole the fact of the matter is that a larger percentage of women will end up falling for a man who has no intention on commitment. Which I personally believe is a man’s loss because a man who is solely focused on chasing a plethora of woman will have a hard time being successful.
Women are fed from a young age that marriage and kids are the ultimate end goal. Its almost as if women cannot simply be content with their financial accomplishments. Society keeps reminding the successful young female entrepreneurs of the future that she is not yet married. That she is not yet a mother. With the world judging you by everything other than your intellect and work ethic, the sense of fulfillment changes. While women, on the other hand, are pushed more into the direction of looking for a business-oriented man instead of being the business-oriented person themselves. Sometimes the pressures of society can lead you into settling for situationships that don’t really serve you, just so you can say you have someone. Even if that someone isn’t treating you the way you deserve to be treated.
Dealing with guys who aren’t good for you can lower your confidence because in your head you’re the bomb. And it’s like why doesn’t this man want to commit to me, doesn’t he see all the great things I bring to the table? I’m smart, educated, talented, a boss, got my finances together, my body poppin and I’m beautiful. The thing is that no matter how amazing you are it will not matter to a guy that doesn’t care and ignores those things. You will not be able to change his mind into seeing your greatness. Your best bet is to find a guy who will.
We must constantly be assessing our lives and making sure that the decisions we are making are bringing us joy. Is this guy really into you because if he isn’t and you are looking for something serious it may be time to cut ties. We can no longer let the fact that he is fiioonnne and has a beard distract us from their own personal agenda of wasting our time.
We must shift the primary focus back to ourselves and reflect inward as to why we keep falling for these types of men in the first place. If we are not well how can we expect our emotional, physical or let alone our financial well-being to be straight? This is actually another form of self-love. If you know better, you shall do better. Letting go of any heavy burdens that are allowing your efforts to be transmitted into anything disadvantageous becomes a must. Let your high standards of remaining true to your self worth be the staple for avoiding f boys.
Understanding the risks and rewards is one of the major components of successfully starting a business. You must treat your love life like you treat your business. You wouldn’t work all day for a client that wasn’t going to pay you, so why would you waste your precious time on a guy that doesn’t deem you worthy enough for a commitment? I know society makes it seem like hooking up and not having feelings is just the normal thing to do, but on this website, we are not about that conforming to the norm life.
So repeat after me, I will no longer be treated as a toy, I am here now retired from dealing with f boys and will only deal with men who see my value and are on my level.
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